loopnscc's Blog

I think I am good at reading people and I have had a lot of practice lately.  Funny thing is when you get interesting messages by e-mail or text I sometimes reply with very short answer,  "OK" or "thanks for the info".  I am not sure it they are surprised or were expecting something else, because quick as a bunny a new message comes back  attempting to explain the first message.  Recently that explanation has show the persons true colors.  I guess I have saved myself a lot of frustration getting this out in the open, but I am surprised that they are willing to hang themselves  with so little rope I give them.  

"Well you have come this far you might as well go a little father." That's a quote from one of my favorite movies.   This web site help me understand my STBX, it has a very male tilt so be warned.  I hope it helps

http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/a-shrink-for-men-index/

About 30 years ago I was reading a magazine and found an article about RAGBRAI, the bike ride across Iowa.  Wow, people ride there bikes across a whole state I thought at the ripe old age of say 14.  Is that possible?  Well life moved on for me, but I still remember reading about RAGBRAI and wanting to do it.  Well July 18th Mom and I packed up her camper and headed out to western Iowa and camped in a Bass Pro Shop parking lot over night.  We were with 1000's of others and after a short ride around I realized it was actually 10000's of others.  They tell you not to worry about the start or where to go because you just follow the line of bikes and how true they were.  Sunday morning I was off on a 52 mile day.  I have rode my bike more then that this summer and was rested so it wasn't a big deal, but they said there would be hills and I live in a very unhilly area.  I ride on what I would call bumps, a 100 feet of vertical is a big hill in my parts.  I talked with a few people,  that morning and then got to the hills and it turned out not to be so bad.  I got used to riding with such a large group and came to realize my training paid off.  I was riding faster then 80% of the people, so I just kept to the left and kept moving.  The first town was packed.  I stopped and walked around a bit and got some water and a banana.  The first day turned out to be pretty easy and when I rolled into town I was surprised it was over.   Legs felt good and could have easily done it again, but I knew the days would get harder. 

Camping with Mom was fun, she is older and respects that I am an adult, but we worked well together, getting set up and doing the chores that go along with camping.   Had a little trouble finding a place to eat the first night, one church was sold out at 5 pm and another had switched form pasta to sloppy joe's, but ended up having a very good hamburger at the local cattleman's association. 

The next day we where woken up by a new helicopter at 5:30 which wasn't a big deal because my alarm was set for 6.  Hit the rode by 7 because we could see that rain was a brewing out west and we where headed east.  That day I ended up hooking up with a strong rider and we pushed each other all day long, up some pretty good rollers.  I have never shifted so much in my life.  Low gear to get up the hill and back to a high gear going down to keep up your speed to help you up the next hill then back to low to get over the top.  We did this over and over and over again.  Had my first piece of homemade pie and loved it.  Is pie for breakfast a bad thing?

Rolled into the next overnight town before the rain and got camp set up before a light shower started.  It wasn't a hard rain, but you couldn't sit outside.  Had our first dinner in a church basement and it was good food at a fair price.  Then off to bed by 9pm.  Early to bed and early to rise was pretty much the standard. 

The next day was a ride in a pretty steady cool rain.  If you ride a bike long enough you will get rained on.  You get wet and just keep riding,  the cool day added to the fact that stopping usually gave you a chill so getting back on the bike was harder and you needed to get your body warmed back up again.   Slugged out the first 50 miles, it stopped raining and met mom for lunch and changed into a dry top to finish the day.  We camped out of town and I ended up with 91 miles that day.  Even for someone that has put on 2600 miles this year 91 miles is a big day. The next day was a very short day and it ended up being the easiest.  Sunny not to hilly and down wind.  I was in the overnight town by lunch.   The next day was the Century day, 100 miles.  I got up early and was on the road by 6:30.  The route had flattened out and maybe I was just getting used to riding every day.  I could get used to this kind of vacation.   The day turned out to be long, but not to bad.  I made sure to take some breaks, and feed the ride.  The last leg I had some energy to burn so picked up my pace to 20+ mph.  I was moving and passing everyone and my legs felt good, but I was going to pay for this tomorrow.

The next day on paper looked like your average day, 75 miles, but the last 20 miles where straight south into a 20 mph wind.   I will take rain, hills, sunny, heat and just about anything but wind.    It just seems to suck the energy out of you and this was a steady wind.  In the middle of this section running low on water in my 2 bottles a church magically appeared giving away free water and lemonade,  I got just enough energy to get to the next town for a piece of pie under a shady tree and then it was just a few more miles to some fresh homemade ice cream.  After yesterdays 114 mile day I had to use all my reserves to get myself into the overnight town.  I was whipped when I was done.  I talked with some others and they agree that this was the hardest day of the ride.  I was so tired we didn't go into town for dinner just hung out at camp and had some dinner.

Last day was pretty easy, 43 miles, and a tire dip into the Miss. river.  I had finished, rode my bike across a state.  Next time I will know I can do it and maybe not be so focused on finishing.  I will spend a little bit more time talking to the people along the way.  Stopping and talking to the people watching from there homes.  Walk around town more.  Go into the stores more.  To answer the question, yes I will do it again in a heart beat.  Oh, and mom had fun too and thanked me for asking her to come along.

About a year ago I went for a bike ride on a dusty old bike that I had bought just out of college.  The seat didn't stay up and my legs got tired, but I finished my ride.  I eventually got the bike working and all the little problems fixed and started riding more and more, but it was always alone.  I found out I really liked cycling and found a bike club in the area and joined it.  Riding with others is different from riding alone, they push you to go harder and farther.  They expose you to their passion and you find out it's yours too.  They start talking of going on long group rides and a seed is planted in your brain.  That seed is someday I can do that too, finish a century ride.  That's riding a hundred miles.  I will admit you have to build up to it, start slow and tick off your goals. 

Last year I accomplished the 40 and 50 mile rides.  This year it was up to a 70 mile ride and finally today I completed the 100 mile ride.  I started off in on group at around 7 and did the first 40 miles.  These people are my social friends, but I can ride a little faster then them, but they kept me in check. Like the jockey holding back the horse on the back stretch, they made sure I didn't go out to fast, but in these rides there are different lengths and they only wanted to do 75 miles, so at the second rest stop another group from the club rolled in and they were going the full 100 miles.  So with the first groups blessing I jump ship and finished the ride with my second group.  This group rode faster and harder and pushed me to finish strong. 

I finished the 100 miles in 5 hours and 50 minutes of ride time.  That's about a 17 mph average which I am very happy with because I was hoping for a 15 mph average. 

It felt good accomplishing this goal and knowing my legs are thing that got me there.  I guess that's why I love cycling, because at the end of a ride the only thing that got you from point A to point B is your own determination. 

Please watch this and keep this in mind going forward everyday of your life. object width="425" height="344">

The Dream Keeper

Bring me all of your dreams, You dreamer, Bring me all your Heart melodies That I may wrap them In a blue cloud-cloth Away from the too-rough fingers Of the world. Langston Hughes

I will keep chasing rainbows, looking for my dream, my pot of gold.  I won't get tired and I am going to find them, sitting and waiting for me.  

 

I have dated a little bit since I filed for divorce and I have met three very remarkable woman in that time.  All three didn't work out and I am not jaded about it, in fact I still talk with all three and maybe someday things may work out with one of them.  I was reading some stories and listing to some music and this song came on and made me think of writing this blog.  These women have started shaping my post-divorce life and I will be forever indebted to them.  So I want to say thanks and any time anyone of you want to take my home I am game.

 

 

A fellow EP'er found this, but I don't want it to get lost. 

This is from Cathy Meyer at About.com and parallels many of our stories.  Her credentials are impeccable:

 http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/abusiverelationships/tp/Withholding-Sex.htm

I am not stopping until I find this.

 

I am looking for mine and won't stop until I find it.